I love The Daily Show. I never watch it because I don’t have cable TV. However, it is a luxury that I indulge in when spending time in hotel rooms.
Luckily, a huge Daily Show fan alerted me to last night’s show which talked about the cupcake ban in Huntington, NY. Yes, Huntington, NY – my hometown. Well, technically I grew up in South Huntington, but close enough.
To rebut this craziness, I’m going to go the David Letterman route (I can watch him for free) and provide you with my own top ten list.
Top 10 Reasons Why Cupcakes Should Not be Banned:
10) Making cupcakes together can be a fun family activity. Junior gets to cover the kitchen in icing and Mommy and Daddy get to clean it up.
9) The ban should be more specific – ban cupcakes with Crisco that have icing piled more than 2.2 inches high.
8) If a big cake is brought into school, Fat Tommy might eat half of it. With cupcakes, he just gets one.
7) Suzie only slobbers on her cupcake when she blows out the candle. You don’t have to eat the spit and melted wax.
6) Cupcakes got their name because in America we bake using cups as measurements instead of grams. Banning cupcakes undermines our entire system of measurement and will further weaken the dollar.
5) Picking on something because it’s more popular than you is mean.
4) If there are no cupcakes at school, you may be pressured to have them at home. Then, your whole family will be obese, not just your child.
3) When your baby gets to college, it will be booze, pot, and cupcakes every day. Do you really want that?
2) Cupcakes can be used to practice math. 23 cupcakes for my class + 10 cupcakes for my boy scout troop = how many cupcakes?
1) When your kids grow up, they may ban alcohol at senior centers.